If I Was Emperor of Canada

Covid, Conquered

If, by some strange and fortuitous rent in the fabric of time and space, I reigned as the Emperor of Canada;

And if the subjects of my land were beset by a great and awful plague, a vile scourge that had besieged the entire world, a dastardly pestilence that had carried away thousands upon thousands of my subjects (many of them the revered elders of my kingdom), while sickening hundreds of thousands more;

And if the sorcerers of a kingdom located — by great providence — right next door magically conjured up a vaccine against this plague;

And if that neighbouring kingdom was moved to share its magic with all the world in exchange for some treasure;

Then I, as Emperor, would be at the head of the line — unlike the hapless ruler of the Canadian empire in Reality — to use the kingdom’s riches to secure that vaccine on behalf of my people;

And then I would employ “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men” to disperse that vaccine throughout the land — I would move heaven and earth, I would shoulder aside the snow-capped Rockies themselves — to deliver the vaccine by every highway and byway, to every nook and cranny of my great kingdom;

I would not rest; nay, nor would I sleep, until all of my subjects were protected from the…